Damn it's so dead in here.
Anyways, I rented the worst movie ever Christmas eve so I feel like venting.
Anyone see the latest Batman movie The Dark Knight Rises?
It's horrible.
Spoiler alert, if you haven't seen the movie, I feel no guilt spoiling the end for you since you'll just get pissed off watching it anyway.
The movie is basically 90 percent batman getting his ass kicked, told by his butler that he should quit cuz he'll die and he's out of shape, or he in a prison which is a basically a giant pit that prisoners can crawl out of if they are good at the long jump. The super villain sounds like Captain Picard speaking through a vocodor (not scary) and his voice doesn't even remotely match his body. Bain the villain has no special powers, he is just tough that's about it. Oh, and has a morphine mask so he doesn't feel a whole lot of pain. Fucking gay as hell. Bain manages to break Batmans back, but luckily, due to the miracles of medical science while in prison some guy who considers himself the prison doctor is able to punch his spinal cord back into place and he's then able to do a bunch of push ups and get back into shape. I knew it would suck when the worst actress to play cat woman said "What's wrong, cat got your tongue?" Corny ass shit like that dumbs down the whole movie even more. Near the end Bain quarantines the whole city due to a threat of an nuclear explosion but not before some little Brit punk kid sings the nation anthem in a football stadium in the most horrible girly Brit accent I ever heard. Couldn't they find an American to sing the Star Spangled Banner? They got their own anthem why would they sing ours? They wouldn't and if they did we wouldn't cheer for the little brat. This movie went on almost forever. Finally in the end when Batman was getting his ass kicked for the tenth time and was about to die Cat woman comes in on Batman's bike and kills Bain. So after all that drawn out prison rehab shit Batman doesn't even get to kill the bad guy. Talk about anti climactic. Then you think Batman died in a nuclear blast to save Metropolis. Turns out he survived (what was that big blast a firework?) and went into hiding and unceremoniously handed the reigns over to twerp Robin who you didn't even know was Robin till the end of the movie. Robin is the new batman? Yeah, gay. How does a movie that has some of the world's best actors including my favorite actor of all time Gary Oldman suck so bad?
This movie stressed me out. Enduring it on Christmas Eve for 3 hours made the holidays even more stressful. Save the buck rental fee and pretend the last movie was the finale and you'll be a lot happier.
“Lesser artists borrow... great artists steal.” - Igor Stravinsky
OP OP Blog CDC
Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Beat Junkies Blog
